omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
