ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
