I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
