Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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