Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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