i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
