I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
