were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
