Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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