I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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