my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Let's get the cat blown out
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
