It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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