Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
