Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize