Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
