we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You are a genius and a whore.
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