i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
