Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
