All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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