You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You took a bar mat shot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
