So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
