I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize