My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
