I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You were trust falling into bushes
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
