jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
