This is not my ceiling
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's never too late to be topless.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
