Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Randomize
