I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
