just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He passed out mid-signature
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize