listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
handjob tips. give me some.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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