That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
