come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
