We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You were trust falling into bushes
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
