Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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