I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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