You really coming over, don't trick.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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