yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
