Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
