I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
