thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize