like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
