I got her a Nickelback box set.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
