He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
