i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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