my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
