the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
