In the future we'll all be gay
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
