somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
