Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you had me at cake vodka
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
