just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
