I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
