I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
