My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
