Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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