I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
