i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
