we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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