I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
