Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm really busy with my period
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