I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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