I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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