you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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